Hell, I've never had a reason to think one might be necessary. I'm 28 and have had exactly two scares in twelve years of being sexually active. For that, I thank my mother--who, when she found out I was having sex, made me an appointment to go on Depo-Provera (which was sort of like hell, but it kept me non-pregnant, so I guess it's all fine), sat me down and gave me a very long, involved talk on risk and reward, and made me think. A lot. It's stuck with me.
I'm not entirely sure how to put this all into words. Do I want kids? (I think so....?) Do I want kids now? (Definitely not.) How have I made it to 28 and not gotten knocked up? (Um....) What would I do if I got pregnant now? (I have no idea.) My upbringing was pseudo-Catholic; two of my nephews are significantly disabled; there's no logical cause behind the fact that I haven't had a kid already except dumb luck; the scariest moment of my entire life was my doctor telling me that my cervix had pre-cancerous cells that required an operation (what if that means I can't have children? ever??).
I'm more aware of that now than I was at 21, when that conversation (and diagnosis and procedure) happened. It makes me wonder now--really, what if I can't have kids? What if it's going to be so difficult to conceive that IVF becomes my best option? My mom had a hysterectomy at a fairly young age--what if I never have kids? What if I can't? It's so scary, and the idea of creating a life has always been so central to me--if I can't, then what?
But then I stop, and I think: what if it happened now?
There's half of me that believes I'd feel so damn lucky to be pregnant at all, ever, that I'd go through hell and brimstone to have a child. I'd sacrifice my life (such as it is) to do it. Even if I had to go through it alone, part of me is that desirous of a baby that I'd do it. I'd carry that child and I'd raise it properly and I'd be an amazing mother.
And there's the other half that's screaming about how I can barely make rent as it is; that my "career" wouldn't support a pregnancy; that I'm just not ready emotionally; that I've always sworn I'd never be a single mother; that a child should be celebrated and wanted rather than a source of stress. And I consider the options.
Would I have an abortion if I got pregnant right now? I don't know. It's possible.
Would I carry a baby to term, deliver it, raise it with love? It's possible.
Would I go through a pregnancy with the knowledge that at the end of it, I'd give the child I carried to a loving home? That's possible too.
And that, in a nutshell, is why I'm pro-choice.
The options are there. If I opted to terminate a pregnancy, I know I could have a safe, sterile, medical procedure performed. If I opted to raise a baby, Michigan has programs that would help me adjust and deal with the (altogether sudden) life changes--and there are places in Michigan I'd feel happy and comfortable raising a child. And if I wanted to give up a baby for adoption, I could do that too.
Abortion hasn't ever stopped. Ever. Women have been inducing miscarriages for millenia. The Catholic Church hasn't always condemned early-term abortions as excommunicable offenses. The fact is that now, in 2010, if I got pregnant and didn't feel (for whatever reason) I was equipped to deal with a child, I have options. The difference between now and 1910, or even 1970 in many states, is that if I choose to terminate, it can (and will) be done in a sterile, medically safe facility and performed by a doctor. And in the very recent past, that wasn't the case at all. Illegal and unsafe abortions cost the lives of women all over the world. Unplanned and unwanted pregnancies kill thousands of women, and destroy the economic and social standings of thousands more, every day. This isn't an issue of anything except human rights. I have a right to plan my procreation. I have a right to not have children, and if I decide that it's a fantastic option, I have the right to have a child. Millions of women in the world are denied that choice. If her country criminalizes abortion; if she's been raped or the victim of incest; if the pregnancy threatens her life--as a full, actualized, independent (ie, not umbilically attached and dependent on another human for sustenance and existence) human--that woman is faced with a harder choice than I'll hopefully ever look at. That is: an illegal, unsafe, and possibly fatal procedure to terminate a pregnancy--or carrying an unwanted child, delivering it, and all the subsequent consequences.
I'd certainly prefer that everyone have easy, cheap (if not entirely free), and accessible birth control. I'd love if the entire world--every man, woman, and child--was taught that sexuality is part of being human, and that there are ways of preventing pregnancy. I'd be blissfully happy if sex education--real, honest sex education--was mandatory for every person on the planet. The biologies of pregnancy and STDs should be things that we shouldn't have to think about--we should be unconsciously competent at this stuff. Condom usage, medication, NFP, anything--this should be ingrained into us.
But it won't be.
As long as there are people who think it's a duty, rather than a choice, to become a mother, there will be those who oppose legal and safe abortion. I know that they will always exist and that sometimes they will have the power.
However:
My uterus is in me. It's mine. If I carry a child, that child is mine. If I choose to not carry a child, that choice? IS MINE.
I don't know that I'd ever have an abortion. But I know that having the option is ethical. It's humane. It's giving a woman control of her life.
Talk ethics all you want. Talk about murder; talk about anything. I'd honestly prefer that comprehensive and honest sex ed exists, so that abortion becomes a non-issue. But as long as there are people making choices, there will be a demand for abortion. And I'd much rather see it safe, and fair, and not something that happens with a bleach douche or coat hanger or whatever back-alley options exist right now.
I'm pro-choice.
Happy Roe v Wade!
